Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Mental Illness Awareness

Today is supposed to be a day of mental illness awareness in Canada. Since I am very very familiar with mental illness I thought I would talk about it.

I have been clinically depressed since, as far as I can tell, I was about eight or nine. When recently asked how long I've been depressed it felt more like forever, but that might have more to do with family situation than actual chemical imbalance in the brain. I currently take two different kinds of anti-depressants, which has allowed me to be stable enough to work, go to school and deal with most normal stresses. That doesn't mean that I don't have incidents at certain times, but it keeps most of them in check. I am not the only one in my family that has been on anti-depressants at one time or another. I'm one of the most comfortable ones to talk openly about it. One of the reason's that I talk openly about the fact that I'm depressed with most people in my life is because I want people to understand me & what can happen at times. Also I need support & being around people who are unaware of my problems & then having them make fun of mental illnesses in general around me is never comfortable.

I won't get too much into the full bout of my depression, there isn't enough room here for that. I will say that most of my depression is not from horrible things happening to me in general, trust me I know that there are A LOT of people worst off than me, but that's one of those things that people don't understand depression. Even though my life has been pretty decent & I know it could have turned out a lot different, that doesn't mean I look around my life and don't feel absolutely hallow, pointless, sad, or that I don't occasionally look around my apartment thinking that the pills in my medicine cabinet would be an easy out. Those thoughts swirl around my head a lot, even with the drugs, & I wish the drugs were the complete solution, but they're not, they only take care of the brain chemistry part, there's still behaviour and emotions to deal with. On top of that there's all the people who you wish you could talk to about what kind of problems you have, but the line that I hate to the point of actually wishing violence on anyone who uses it is  'Just get over it' Anyone with any dealing with depression knows that there is no getting over it.

More things need to be done about mental illness, talking about it will help. Also on a personal note, if anyone out there has the power to get rid of one of the worst commercials about depression I have ever seen, the one with the line's 'Where does depression hurt? Everywhere. Who does depression hurt? Everyone.' Trust me everyone with depression already knows this! I hate this commercial to no end, I'm not even sure if it's supposed to be an awareness ad or if it's trying to sell medication. Also a lot more studies into mental illness need to happen, & not just studies into newer & newer medication. Medication helps bring people back to a state or normalcy, however then you're stuck in a lifetime of taking the damn medication, & if you don't have any medical to pay for the medication your ability to take the pills depend on your pay check  which is never good. Also for women especially whenever we get pregnant we have to go off our anti-depressants. This scars me to no end. I want children & whenever I get pregnant I have to go off my medication, & going off anti-depressants should be gradual & usually takes years to get off & a lot of therapy, if you find yourself suddenly pregnant you have to pretty much go cold turkey from your anti-depressants & on top of that you get to deal with a whole new set of hormones doing a number on your brain. To me it's not a surprise that there are more cases of post-par tame depression that leads to women killing their own children.

This is just a tiny bit of my opinion on depression. I hope it helps people understand more of what it's like or helps people to talk more about it.

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